Thursday, 13 August 2015

Goodbyes Are Not Forever


I blinked my eyes several times, still trying hard to believe what I had just heard. The news shocked me. Only several days after our Graduation Day from the MADPP program, namelists were released by the higher ups. Namelists that listed the students who are going to fly off to the United States early. It shook me. It made me realise that this MADPP program that I've been through up untill today*the day I wrote this* is gonna end soon. I cried yesterday evening before we sent off Alya*One of my classmates. Knowing that we don't have much time left together, I spent the last week alot mingling with Ridzwan and Amar. Among my good friends here in KKTM Ledang, those two are going to fly the earliest on the 24th of August.

Ridzwan, I actually met him long before the MADPP program. It was at last year's Chess MSSM, a National level chess competition, in Kuching that we met. Back then he was the captain of Pahang's U18 Boys Team while I was his counterpart of Melaka's. We played against each other in the First round, which he very luckily won xD. It's like a tradition for chess players to remember those who had beaten them before. What surprised me was when I knew he was also a MRSM student, MRSM Muazam Shah to be precise. MRSM students have a knack to hang around each other when they meet at a big event. Some people call it fate, others call it Destiny. We met again early this year as college mates, and have been good friends since then :).

Ridzwan(left), Amar(right)

Amar, I first knew him as the roommate of my best friend, Alif. I spent alot of time in Alif's room and slowly I got to know him. At first, I was kinda reluctant to befriend him because he looked like a really alim person. Then one day we played FIFA against each other and everything changed xD. That time he beat me 5-0 hha. A game I'll always remember. And since he is Alif's roommate, I hang around him alot too. He also helped me with my maths whenever I have any problems with it. But the best thing about Amar is because it's really easy for me to get along with him. He likes to joke around, quite a funny guy actually. He's a book that you should never judge by its cover haha. At first he looked quiet and seem like to keep more to himself but when you got to know him well, he's actually a cool guy to hang around with.

It was sad. My thoughts were that I won't be able to meet them again after this but actually, Goodbyes Are Never Forever. There's more names in the namelist. Even Alif is going to fly early. If we are really their friends, we should be happy for them. It's a gigantic leap forward for each and everyone of them that are going to The United States early. Instead of faltering and being sad, we should push ourselves. This particular event, should be made into motivation. One sole motivation that could push us thoroughly untill we to reach what we aim for*As for MADPP students, the United States of course*.

We should be striving hard instead so that once each of us have become successful people, we can meet up and share our adventures with each other. I'm sure there will be a hell lot of stories we could share late in the future. We wouldn't want to meet up under bad conditions would we? So keep trying hard. To those who are gonna fly early, take care of yourselves over there and do wait for all of us to follow up okay. To those who're repeating the TOEFL, you guys need to stay strong. Stay focused on your goals. All of you can do it, I believe in you.

Remember that goodbyes are temporary. Eventhough we're living and continuing our lives in different places, We are still living under the same sky. Therefore MADPP students, lets do our best and strive for a better future. Don't falter, don't give up, stay strong and chin up. I believe, our generation will change the world for the better.

We'll meet again someday :)


Thursday, 6 August 2015

Fragments of The Past


I was finding a way to win the ball from the other team. Man-marking my friend*acah* wasn't an easy job. And with the mood I was having, it was bound to end awfully. I tried lots of stand tackles, none were effective. The ball was still at Ghazali's feet. Then that last one, the one that eventually changed my life. Forever. I lunge at the ball with my right leg, Ghazali did a turn, I tried to keep up...


I fall onto the ground. Pain flowed through my right knee. I tried to stand up. Nothing. I just couldn't make the motion. The pain was overwhelming, but the worries were larger. Less than two months untill PMR, and here I was. Lying on the field with a twisted knee. I sat there, at the side of the field alone untill it was time to retun to our rooms. Luckily, my friends were there to help me to my room. My knee couldn't stand on its own. Felt like it was slipping out of its place*A really scary feeling I assure you*. My knee also couldn't bend fully, maximum was about 90 degrees.

Two months went by fast, and it was on the last day of PMR, a Monday if I recalled correctly. I felt alot healthier than two months earlier. I was foolish to think that my knee had healed completely. I was more foolish to turn up at the field again right after the end of Mathematics examination. I tried to play, starting as a defender. It didn't last long though, against my best friend Najmi Aqil*one of the better footballers in our batch, foolishly tried a one-on-one...


This time the pain was just unbearable. I couldn't even move my leg. I cried*literally*. Somehow I knew it was the end. The end of my football, the end of my 'everything'... I remembered crying on the field. Emotions filled my mind. Anger, Hatred, Sadness, Regret. All swelled up. Angry towards myself for not obeying the advices of the ones who cared about me. Hating myself for letting my knee injury worse. Sad at the thoughts of the future. And Regret, regret of my own actions that took away my knee...

Fast forward 3 years later...

I have graduated from TGB. Currently in KKTM Ledang under a MARA program. I have played in the Nationals of Chess Tournament as a Melaka player. I know now how to play Volleyball. I now know somethings*sedikit sebanyak* about Hockey. Survived through SPM. Survived through TGB. Survived through many other ups and downs. I made a lot of friends along the way too :). Found people who I can really trust, people who I can really count on. Also found a person who I really care for*ok ahaha*. And all of the above, I did without the ability, the freedom, and the feeling of football hhe.

You see, whenever anything bad happens. It is actually a test given by Allah The Almighty. He wants to see how do we cope with the tests he gave us. How do we overcome it. With everything bad, have patience and believe me, He will reward you with something better. There's a reason behind everything. Initially, I myself couldn't accept that I can no longer play football anymore. I hated many things because of what had happened. But soon I realise that He took away something only to replace it with something far more precious. All the tests that He has given us, are actually whats best for ourselves. All we have to do is actually to Believe in Him. Pray to Him. Do efforts in His name. And He will surely, surely provide whats best for ourselves.

Wednesday, 5 August 2015

When It Gets Hard


I woke up, my head felt heavy. I tried to walk, each step I took felt like it needed all the strength I have. The pain was tremendous, unbearable. I thought to myself, "when was the last time I felt sick like this? Its been a while I guess". With that, I consumed the last of Shafeeq's panadols. After all that, the pain was still there though. It did sink for a while after a night's sleep, but returned after about an hour after I woke up. I lie on my bed waiting for it to subside, eventually I stood up and decided in my mind that I needed to study maths*Got Math quiz that night.

I mustered what strength that I have left, picked up my stuffs and moved towards Zack's room. When I finally reached there after what feels like a really long walk, I greeted the peeps and took a seat on the floor and flipped open my maths book. By Asar, all I really managed through the pain were two questions, one using the Washer Method and the other Shell Method*Took quite the time for me to understand both under Sheikh's and Zack's tutoring. Somehow, after all the Maths tutoring and a bit of laughs*which I tried hard not to since I feel pain whenever I laugh*, I felt a lot better.

I noticed that these guys, were one of the reasons that made me feel better. Somehow I felt secured and a bit of  relief after talking to them. The pain somehow lessen when I'm with people that I trust, people that I look out for. The concerns from my friends also helped alot. It helped me to stay positive mentally. With it, comes the belief that there are people whom I could really count on, people who cared for me :). I thank you for that.

I realised that whenever I'm feeling a sick or depressed, I was never alone. I know that there will always be people whom I could count on, people whom I can borrow their ears, their shoulders. What we need is to realise and to notice, are all those beside us. People who will stand their ground beside you, destined to help whenever you are in need. I'm not exaggerating peeps, you just need to realise that they are there. Share it, your burden. Don't ever lift it alone. That's why your friends and families are there, to help you through thick and thin. And if you really do find yourself alone*which I doubt you actually will*, be patient peeps. Because you will never ever be alone, Allah is always by your side.